[ He shifts, going to go to get a cloth and covers it in cold water. He carefully wrings it out so it's only damp - using a bit of magic to help speed that process. He doesn't want to get Diluc sopping wet, but remains cool. He returns after a few fairly short moments and then settles it on Diluc's forehead without much of a word. ]
Luckily if a fire starts, I can help. You may not have to move still.
[ Despite his passive, almost lazy nature, Venti has been diligent in studying magic. ]
[In the case of a fire... he could probably drive himself to get up and move. To be fair, he could probably push through what he's dealing with right now if he had such an inclination.
But he's allowing himself this time to feel sorry for himself. A luxury he doesn't normally indulge in.]
Thank you. [He murmurs then, lifting a hand to carefully adjust the cloth for a moment. It's nice.] We all have our off days. I suppose this is just one of mine.
[ He's soft and delicate in his actions, moving his hand over Diluc's forehead, over the cloth to brush through the bangs and any stray, nearby hairs. He's never seen Diluc have an off day (and though he is certain that he has had them), it's still something that will likely be locked in his memory for awhile. ]
We do, everyone does. Some more than others.
[ He's had a lot. ]
But, I'll stay here as long as you'll have my company. Leave if you ask. That's how it works here.
[ He'd like to stay. He has enough experience with hangovers and drowning in your own upset that he's seeing a little bit of himself in Diluc like this. Sometimes it's easy for him to forget that Diluc is still a pretty young man because he seemed so much...older. Grown up. Mature. He carried burdens and kept carrying them, and maybe he needed to let loose sometimes.
He supposes it was his turn to be the person who watched after the other. ]
[He has the occasional off day as much as anyone does, though he rarely makes them known at all. Diluc prefers to foster the illusion of being unshakeable, of being almost inhuman in his dedication and drive, of being entirely untouchable... but he's still just a young man.
And right now, he's tentatively opening himself up to a few people that he believes care enough to not use it against him. He still isn't sure about the wisdom of it.]
No, this is fine. [He says, shifting a little on the couch - just enough to make a Venti-sized space.] You can come up here.
[ Lucky for them, Venti is pretty small. And, as it were, he's a fairly cuddly individual. So, he'll take the spot that's offered to him without second guessing it and cuddle right on up to Diluc. He leans into the other's space and gets comfortable there. Diluc officially has a cuddler on his hands. He lets his hand settle on Diluc as he leans into him a little. ]
Hmph. I could. But I have no intention of it at the moment.
[It's... just a little awkward, given what he still has very clear memories of doing with the archon, but he keeps that very firmly to one side as he curls his arm around Venti's slight frame and lets him cuddle in.]
I'm sorry for being so harsh with you. I know you meant well.
[ The soft laugh Venti lets out is almost...bashful. ]
Listen, it's okay. You don't even need to apologize for that. You're never too old to learn from your mistakes.
[ Truth be told, he was more concerned about upsetting a friend than the fact that Diluc was harsh with him. And he had be more hurt by the idea of it than anything else. He wanted the other to understand that he was someone there to help and should have been prepared to back down as soon as the other rejected it. ]
But if you're worried you upset me - I'm okay. You'll have to really go for the throat if you want to!
[ A chuckle, because - well. ]
But I already trust that you won't. I did talk to Kaeya a little bit after I talked to you.
[Venti may regret giving him permission to 'go for the throat', as Diluc knows very well what he's capable of when severely pressed. Though from the bard's overall demeanour he thinks that it's not going to come to that.
But then--
He opens his eyes and looks down at the top of Venti's head, his eyebrows twitching in a faint frown.]
Did you, now. [Diluc mutters.] And what did Kaeya have to say for himself?
He told me about the circumstances of him telling you that he was from Khhaenri'ah. The bad timing of it all.
[ He doesn't specify that it was Crepus' death, because he doesn't need to. Diluc knows those details. And there's no reason to start going on about the man's father's death. He seems to have comfortably settled in against the other. ]
I'm sure he appreciates you holding onto it. You're a good person, Diluc.
[ He means it. ]
And I'd never, never intentionally hurt either of you.
It's the second time that place has come up in conversation after years of never hearing anyone speak of it, but Diluc has never known Kaeya to speak of his unique circumstances to anyone else.
He isn't sure how he feels about it.
For a few seconds he says nothing, keeping a thoughtful silence, then he exhales softly through his nose.]
He told me it was after -- your father died. But your story isn't his to share, so he didn't share everything.
[ His eyes close, and he sighs a bit. That's essentially what he had said, after all. And Venti is fine, and he's not asking. He'll accept whatever is offered. He understands the need for secrets and appreciates the desire to keep them.
He thinks, or got the impression, Kaeya knows that this situation is delicate. ]
[He rubs his thumb against the back of Venti's shoulder.]
It was part of it.
[A big part of it, but he might have taken his father's death more easily without everything that had surrounded it. There are a couple of false starts - soft inhales that sound too loud in the silence - before he speaks again.]
After he died I went to the Knights of Favonius, and the inspector at the time, Eroch, he told me... I needed to cover up what really happened. To just make it seem an unfortunate accident. All to protect their precious reputation. [He doesn't sound angry when he says it. More that he's numb to it now.]
So I resigned. I was so angry already, when Kaeya came to see me. [He sighs.] I tried to kill him. I don't think I wanted to. I just didn't care if I did.
[ He's comfortable here against Diluc. Settled in, relaxed, and listening. Sharing and talking and -- he's glad. He's glad there's a few things out in the open now. He's glad to know he's trusted. He's glad to hear Diluc share this. ]
Oh.
[ It's kind of an awestruck response. He...believes it, though. He doesn't always want to, but he does because he knows things aren't always so nice, and clean, and easy like he thinks they are. ]
I'm sorry because that happened. Because that's terrible. I know it's not on me, necessarily, but... that doesn't make it less...
[ For lack of a better word. ]
Terrible. But, thanks for telling me. What you've said is safe with me.
[For all the bard's many failings he knows that he can be trusted. He moves his hand off Venti's shoulder to touch the back of his head and then gently stroke over his hair.]
I left Mondstadt for years after that. When I came back I could barely even look him in the eye.
[He turned so cold towards his brother, and to everyone else. All he could see around him was frivolity and the pathetic attempts of the Knights to enforce their relevance in a world moving far too fast for them.]
But I didn't hate him. It's... funny that he thought I did. I could have ruined him if I wanted to.
Could have, yeah. But you didn't. I think -- you made a good choice.
[ He's biased, though. He cares about Diluc, he cares about Kaeya. He wants both of them to do and be well. He wants them to both be happy and feel cared for. He feels very comfortable against Diluc, those soft, gentle fingers, moving over his hair. He shifts, settling his hand on the other's chest. He quietly tucks himself in against Diluc, diligently listening and keeping the information given. He's putting it behind a lock and key. This is for him and him alone. ]
You were... hurt. [ He thinks that the best word. ]
Honestly, though, you have to handle it how you have to. Do what you want to do to best take care of things. I see that as exercising your freedom.
['You were hurt.', Venti says, and Diluc is surprised by how deeply that observation strikes him. It's enough that he quiets, stills his hand against the back of the archon's head and simply looks at the wall opposite with a distant and pensive expression on his face.
He had been so idealistic when he was young. Bright, cheerful, charming, utterly devoted to both his family and his role in the Knights of Favonius. It had all been ripped away, all at once. Nothing could have prepared him for it.
Diluc sighs very softly.]
I could have forgiven him, couldn't I? [He murmurs. It seems he's only half speaking to Venti when he says it.] It didn't have to be the way it was. I think he just... reminds me of everything I've lost.
Could have? Yes. But you don't have to do anything you don't want to.
[ Mondstadt is about following your own path, after all. And Venti wants them to do that. He wants Diluc to do that. To decide for himself how he feels about things and then go the direction he thinks works best for himself. ]
It can take people a long time to heal. A lifetime, even. I think you're doing alright.
[ He's 100% not the right person to ask, and he knows he's not, too. He's been stuck in his own loop for many lifetimes. His eyes shift closed despite Diluc's hand getting still, and he shifts, settling his head against the other. ]
It's not easy to forget things you lose. You probably never will forget.
He's not sure. He isn't sure if he has even now. Diluc frowns as an uncomfortable sensation that is nothing at all to do with his still-delicate physical state settles in the centre of his chest. He'd never thought of it as a matter of wanting. Either he would, or he wouldn't.
And he hasn't.]
No. I don't think I will. [As for what that means... he isn't sure.
Diluc shifts, turning slightly onto his side and wrapping one arm around Venti to pull the small bard close into his chest. He tips his chin up to rest it on top of Venti's head and closes his eyes, exhaling softly.]
[ Oh. That's nice. It's nice to be held like this. He settles against Diluc, tucking himself against the other's chest. He's pretty comfortable and is going to make zero attempts to even move. Especially when they're having such a sensitive conversation. It's bringing up memories for him. Not all bad, of course.
He hasn't forgotten anyone he's met and cared for.
And he hasn't ever handled the loss of people precious to him well. There's a reason that he has this face and this body. He can understand why Diluc would want him back around to seek his advice. He thinks it's important for the other to hold onto that desire, even if the man he seeks is gone. It's important to have them. ]
I bet he would, but it's up to you now. Which might not be what you want to hear. But you'll make the right choice.
[ He glances up at Diluc, without even really moving - and although he really only sees the other's chin and chest -- he adds. ]
You know, Diluc, you remind me of someone that I knew a long time ago. He was reliable and strong. And I think that's why I know you'll make the right choice.
[Often, Diluc simply forgets exactly what Venti is. It's easy to do when the bard is so mischievous and sometimes demanding.
When he feels Venti trying to look up at him he shifts back slightly to look down, moving his arm to make it easier for the bard to move too. He brushes one of the braids back from his face, over his shoulder, and a tiny smile pulls at one corner of his mouth.]
You know, when you say it like that, I almost believe it.
[And then, quite gently, he plants a kiss on Venti's forehead.]
I think... I'm tired of being angry. [He murmurs.] And-- I miss my brother. Even if things can never be exactly like they were.
[ He looked up towards Diluc when that space was offered. He's smiling, as brightly as he ever does . He enjoys the friendship that he has with Diluc, and he'd never do anything intentionally to jeopardize that. If people forget who he is from time to time, that's fine with him; however, right now - he's going to use who and what he is to make his point. ]
I know what I'm talking about.
[ He lets out a small hmmm. ]
They won't be the same, but then there's no lies. Isn't that better?
[ His eyes are still locked on, studying Diluc's face curiously. ]
[Diluc sighs and shifts, and he can't keep his eyes steady on Venti's. It's a sore topic, a sensitive one, and no one really understands just how badly that night had broken them apart.]
I still don't know if I can trust him. I don't know how much a promise from him is really worth.
[When you spend so long feeling betrayed by somebody, it's hard to just turn it off.]
Kaeya was all I had to turn to after father died, and after I turned my back on the Knights. And then it was as if, in an instant... I'd never really had him at all.
[ There's question lingering there, but he doesn't seem to be expecting an answer. He doesn't know, there's no reason he would, though. He's pretty sure he was asleep when everything went down with Crepus, and then between Kaeya and Diluc. He shifts his weight when Diluc's attention falters, and moves so that he can do one very important thing.
He presses a small kiss to the center if Diluc's forehead.
Sometimes it's easy for Venti to forget how young Diluc is. How young Kaeya is, too. He doesn't often feel old but in moments like this where he wants to make a young man he cares about feel reassured that what he feels is fine to feel - he feels old. He feels old and free. And he doesn't necessarily hate it. ]
Then I guess -- you just need to give him the opportunity to prove he can be trusted.
[He lets his eyes close and lets himself relax as Venti kisses his forehead. Not all the way, but just enough for some of the tension to leave his shoulders and for a soft exhale to escape him. Just like Venti forgets how young he is, Diluc often forgets just how old Venti is.
Moments like this do a lot to make him remember.
The redhead half-opens his eyes, teal shot through the bright fire of his irises, and he huffs out a soft breath through his nose.]
I don't think you need me to tell you that that's harder than it sounds.
[But he wants to, doesn't he? He wants to trust Kaeya again.
[ Soft affection is so easy with him. He lets a hand settle on Diluc's cheek after he places that kiss on his forehead. The shift in color doesn't go unnoticed. And Venti really likes it because it means something. To him, seeing the effects of a bond on another is just...nice. It's a wordless confession that you matter to someone. ]
You don't.
[ But Diluc's never struck him as the sort who wouldn't at least try, even if something was hard. Especially if he truly wanted it. And there's always an option to not continue if he didn't want to. ]
You know, Diluc...I never would have imagined you in teal, but I really like it.
[ A soft kiss on the cheek to follow, and then he'll settle down. There's small feathers that appear towards the top of venti's braids, almost like tiny wings on top of his head. They're black and red - and different from before. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2021-09-17 01:13 am (UTC)Luckily if a fire starts, I can help. You may not have to move still.
[ Despite his passive, almost lazy nature, Venti has been diligent in studying magic. ]
This should help a little.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-17 08:38 am (UTC)[In the case of a fire... he could probably drive himself to get up and move. To be fair, he could probably push through what he's dealing with right now if he had such an inclination.
But he's allowing himself this time to feel sorry for himself. A luxury he doesn't normally indulge in.]
Thank you. [He murmurs then, lifting a hand to carefully adjust the cloth for a moment. It's nice.] We all have our off days. I suppose this is just one of mine.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-18 12:10 am (UTC)We do, everyone does. Some more than others.
[ He's had a lot. ]
But, I'll stay here as long as you'll have my company. Leave if you ask. That's how it works here.
[ He'd like to stay. He has enough experience with hangovers and drowning in your own upset that he's seeing a little bit of himself in Diluc like this. Sometimes it's easy for him to forget that Diluc is still a pretty young man because he seemed so much...older. Grown up. Mature. He carried burdens and kept carrying them, and maybe he needed to let loose sometimes.
He supposes it was his turn to be the person who watched after the other. ]
Do you need anything?
no subject
Date: 2021-09-18 12:21 am (UTC)And right now, he's tentatively opening himself up to a few people that he believes care enough to not use it against him. He still isn't sure about the wisdom of it.]
No, this is fine. [He says, shifting a little on the couch - just enough to make a Venti-sized space.] You can come up here.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-18 12:57 am (UTC)You know you can't kick me out now right?
[ Because he likes to cuddle up. ]
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Date: 2021-09-18 01:03 am (UTC)[It's... just a little awkward, given what he still has very clear memories of doing with the archon, but he keeps that very firmly to one side as he curls his arm around Venti's slight frame and lets him cuddle in.]
I'm sorry for being so harsh with you. I know you meant well.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-18 03:03 am (UTC)Listen, it's okay. You don't even need to apologize for that. You're never too old to learn from your mistakes.
[ Truth be told, he was more concerned about upsetting a friend than the fact that Diluc was harsh with him. And he had be more hurt by the idea of it than anything else. He wanted the other to understand that he was someone there to help and should have been prepared to back down as soon as the other rejected it. ]
But if you're worried you upset me - I'm okay. You'll have to really go for the throat if you want to!
[ A chuckle, because - well. ]
But I already trust that you won't. I did talk to Kaeya a little bit after I talked to you.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-18 10:37 am (UTC)[Venti may regret giving him permission to 'go for the throat', as Diluc knows very well what he's capable of when severely pressed. Though from the bard's overall demeanour he thinks that it's not going to come to that.
But then--
He opens his eyes and looks down at the top of Venti's head, his eyebrows twitching in a faint frown.]
Did you, now. [Diluc mutters.] And what did Kaeya have to say for himself?
no subject
Date: 2021-09-19 12:24 am (UTC)[ He doesn't specify that it was Crepus' death, because he doesn't need to. Diluc knows those details. And there's no reason to start going on about the man's father's death. He seems to have comfortably settled in against the other. ]
I'm sure he appreciates you holding onto it. You're a good person, Diluc.
[ He means it. ]
And I'd never, never intentionally hurt either of you.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-19 12:29 am (UTC)It's the second time that place has come up in conversation after years of never hearing anyone speak of it, but Diluc has never known Kaeya to speak of his unique circumstances to anyone else.
He isn't sure how he feels about it.
For a few seconds he says nothing, keeping a thoughtful silence, then he exhales softly through his nose.]
Did he tell you why I was so angry?
[Just how much does Venti know, now?]
no subject
Date: 2021-09-19 12:53 am (UTC)[ His eyes close, and he sighs a bit. That's essentially what he had said, after all. And Venti is fine, and he's not asking. He'll accept whatever is offered. He understands the need for secrets and appreciates the desire to keep them.
He thinks, or got the impression, Kaeya knows that this situation is delicate. ]
But if that's not why - then no.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-19 01:05 am (UTC)It was part of it.
[A big part of it, but he might have taken his father's death more easily without everything that had surrounded it. There are a couple of false starts - soft inhales that sound too loud in the silence - before he speaks again.]
After he died I went to the Knights of Favonius, and the inspector at the time, Eroch, he told me... I needed to cover up what really happened. To just make it seem an unfortunate accident. All to protect their precious reputation. [He doesn't sound angry when he says it. More that he's numb to it now.]
So I resigned. I was so angry already, when Kaeya came to see me. [He sighs.] I tried to kill him. I don't think I wanted to. I just didn't care if I did.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-19 01:34 am (UTC)Oh.
[ It's kind of an awestruck response. He...believes it, though. He doesn't always want to, but he does because he knows things aren't always so nice, and clean, and easy like he thinks they are. ]
I'm sorry because that happened. Because that's terrible. I know it's not on me, necessarily, but... that doesn't make it less...
[ For lack of a better word. ]
Terrible. But, thanks for telling me. What you've said is safe with me.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-19 01:45 am (UTC)[For all the bard's many failings he knows that he can be trusted. He moves his hand off Venti's shoulder to touch the back of his head and then gently stroke over his hair.]
I left Mondstadt for years after that. When I came back I could barely even look him in the eye.
[He turned so cold towards his brother, and to everyone else. All he could see around him was frivolity and the pathetic attempts of the Knights to enforce their relevance in a world moving far too fast for them.]
But I didn't hate him. It's... funny that he thought I did. I could have ruined him if I wanted to.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-20 12:35 am (UTC)[ He's biased, though. He cares about Diluc, he cares about Kaeya. He wants both of them to do and be well. He wants them to both be happy and feel cared for. He feels very comfortable against Diluc, those soft, gentle fingers, moving over his hair. He shifts, settling his hand on the other's chest. He quietly tucks himself in against Diluc, diligently listening and keeping the information given. He's putting it behind a lock and key. This is for him and him alone. ]
You were... hurt. [ He thinks that the best word. ]
Honestly, though, you have to handle it how you have to. Do what you want to do to best take care of things. I see that as exercising your freedom.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-20 11:31 am (UTC)He had been so idealistic when he was young. Bright, cheerful, charming, utterly devoted to both his family and his role in the Knights of Favonius. It had all been ripped away, all at once. Nothing could have prepared him for it.
Diluc sighs very softly.]
I could have forgiven him, couldn't I? [He murmurs. It seems he's only half speaking to Venti when he says it.] It didn't have to be the way it was. I think he just... reminds me of everything I've lost.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-21 02:26 am (UTC)[ Mondstadt is about following your own path, after all. And Venti wants them to do that. He wants Diluc to do that. To decide for himself how he feels about things and then go the direction he thinks works best for himself. ]
It can take people a long time to heal. A lifetime, even. I think you're doing alright.
[ He's 100% not the right person to ask, and he knows he's not, too. He's been stuck in his own loop for many lifetimes. His eyes shift closed despite Diluc's hand getting still, and he shifts, settling his head against the other. ]
It's not easy to forget things you lose. You probably never will forget.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-21 04:58 pm (UTC)He's not sure. He isn't sure if he has even now. Diluc frowns as an uncomfortable sensation that is nothing at all to do with his still-delicate physical state settles in the centre of his chest. He'd never thought of it as a matter of wanting. Either he would, or he wouldn't.
And he hasn't.]
No. I don't think I will. [As for what that means... he isn't sure.
Diluc shifts, turning slightly onto his side and wrapping one arm around Venti to pull the small bard close into his chest. He tips his chin up to rest it on top of Venti's head and closes his eyes, exhaling softly.]
... I miss my father. He'd know what to do.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-22 02:57 am (UTC)He hasn't forgotten anyone he's met and cared for.
And he hasn't ever handled the loss of people precious to him well. There's a reason that he has this face and this body. He can understand why Diluc would want him back around to seek his advice. He thinks it's important for the other to hold onto that desire, even if the man he seeks is gone. It's important to have them. ]
I bet he would, but it's up to you now. Which might not be what you want to hear. But you'll make the right choice.
[ He glances up at Diluc, without even really moving - and although he really only sees the other's chin and chest -- he adds. ]
You know, Diluc, you remind me of someone that I knew a long time ago. He was reliable and strong. And I think that's why I know you'll make the right choice.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-22 02:32 pm (UTC)When he feels Venti trying to look up at him he shifts back slightly to look down, moving his arm to make it easier for the bard to move too. He brushes one of the braids back from his face, over his shoulder, and a tiny smile pulls at one corner of his mouth.]
You know, when you say it like that, I almost believe it.
[And then, quite gently, he plants a kiss on Venti's forehead.]
I think... I'm tired of being angry. [He murmurs.] And-- I miss my brother. Even if things can never be exactly like they were.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-25 05:10 pm (UTC)He enjoys the friendship that he has with Diluc, and he'd never do anything intentionally to jeopardize that. If people forget who he is from time to time, that's fine with him; however, right now - he's going to use who and what he is to make his point. ]
I know what I'm talking about.
[ He lets out a small hmmm. ]
They won't be the same, but then there's no lies. Isn't that better?
[ His eyes are still locked on, studying Diluc's face curiously. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-09-29 05:38 pm (UTC)[Diluc sighs and shifts, and he can't keep his eyes steady on Venti's. It's a sore topic, a sensitive one, and no one really understands just how badly that night had broken them apart.]
I still don't know if I can trust him. I don't know how much a promise from him is really worth.
[When you spend so long feeling betrayed by somebody, it's hard to just turn it off.]
Kaeya was all I had to turn to after father died, and after I turned my back on the Knights. And then it was as if, in an instant... I'd never really had him at all.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-02 02:15 am (UTC)[ There's question lingering there, but he doesn't seem to be expecting an answer. He doesn't know, there's no reason he would, though. He's pretty sure he was asleep when everything went down with Crepus, and then between Kaeya and Diluc. He shifts his weight when Diluc's attention falters, and moves so that he can do one very important thing.
He presses a small kiss to the center if Diluc's forehead.
Sometimes it's easy for Venti to forget how young Diluc is. How young Kaeya is, too. He doesn't often feel old but in moments like this where he wants to make a young man he cares about feel reassured that what he feels is fine to feel - he feels old. He feels old and free. And he doesn't necessarily hate it. ]
Then I guess -- you just need to give him the opportunity to prove he can be trusted.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-04 12:06 am (UTC)Moments like this do a lot to make him remember.
The redhead half-opens his eyes, teal shot through the bright fire of his irises, and he huffs out a soft breath through his nose.]
I don't think you need me to tell you that that's harder than it sounds.
[But he wants to, doesn't he? He wants to trust Kaeya again.
He wants his brother back.]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-06 04:31 am (UTC)You don't.
[ But Diluc's never struck him as the sort who wouldn't at least try, even if something was hard. Especially if he truly wanted it. And there's always an option to not continue if he didn't want to. ]
You know, Diluc...I never would have imagined you in teal, but I really like it.
[ A soft kiss on the cheek to follow, and then he'll settle down. There's small feathers that appear towards the top of venti's braids, almost like tiny wings on top of his head. They're black and red - and different from before. ]
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