['You were hurt.', Venti says, and Diluc is surprised by how deeply that observation strikes him. It's enough that he quiets, stills his hand against the back of the archon's head and simply looks at the wall opposite with a distant and pensive expression on his face.
He had been so idealistic when he was young. Bright, cheerful, charming, utterly devoted to both his family and his role in the Knights of Favonius. It had all been ripped away, all at once. Nothing could have prepared him for it.
Diluc sighs very softly.]
I could have forgiven him, couldn't I? [He murmurs. It seems he's only half speaking to Venti when he says it.] It didn't have to be the way it was. I think he just... reminds me of everything I've lost.
Could have? Yes. But you don't have to do anything you don't want to.
[ Mondstadt is about following your own path, after all. And Venti wants them to do that. He wants Diluc to do that. To decide for himself how he feels about things and then go the direction he thinks works best for himself. ]
It can take people a long time to heal. A lifetime, even. I think you're doing alright.
[ He's 100% not the right person to ask, and he knows he's not, too. He's been stuck in his own loop for many lifetimes. His eyes shift closed despite Diluc's hand getting still, and he shifts, settling his head against the other. ]
It's not easy to forget things you lose. You probably never will forget.
He's not sure. He isn't sure if he has even now. Diluc frowns as an uncomfortable sensation that is nothing at all to do with his still-delicate physical state settles in the centre of his chest. He'd never thought of it as a matter of wanting. Either he would, or he wouldn't.
And he hasn't.]
No. I don't think I will. [As for what that means... he isn't sure.
Diluc shifts, turning slightly onto his side and wrapping one arm around Venti to pull the small bard close into his chest. He tips his chin up to rest it on top of Venti's head and closes his eyes, exhaling softly.]
[ Oh. That's nice. It's nice to be held like this. He settles against Diluc, tucking himself against the other's chest. He's pretty comfortable and is going to make zero attempts to even move. Especially when they're having such a sensitive conversation. It's bringing up memories for him. Not all bad, of course.
He hasn't forgotten anyone he's met and cared for.
And he hasn't ever handled the loss of people precious to him well. There's a reason that he has this face and this body. He can understand why Diluc would want him back around to seek his advice. He thinks it's important for the other to hold onto that desire, even if the man he seeks is gone. It's important to have them. ]
I bet he would, but it's up to you now. Which might not be what you want to hear. But you'll make the right choice.
[ He glances up at Diluc, without even really moving - and although he really only sees the other's chin and chest -- he adds. ]
You know, Diluc, you remind me of someone that I knew a long time ago. He was reliable and strong. And I think that's why I know you'll make the right choice.
[Often, Diluc simply forgets exactly what Venti is. It's easy to do when the bard is so mischievous and sometimes demanding.
When he feels Venti trying to look up at him he shifts back slightly to look down, moving his arm to make it easier for the bard to move too. He brushes one of the braids back from his face, over his shoulder, and a tiny smile pulls at one corner of his mouth.]
You know, when you say it like that, I almost believe it.
[And then, quite gently, he plants a kiss on Venti's forehead.]
I think... I'm tired of being angry. [He murmurs.] And-- I miss my brother. Even if things can never be exactly like they were.
[ He looked up towards Diluc when that space was offered. He's smiling, as brightly as he ever does . He enjoys the friendship that he has with Diluc, and he'd never do anything intentionally to jeopardize that. If people forget who he is from time to time, that's fine with him; however, right now - he's going to use who and what he is to make his point. ]
I know what I'm talking about.
[ He lets out a small hmmm. ]
They won't be the same, but then there's no lies. Isn't that better?
[ His eyes are still locked on, studying Diluc's face curiously. ]
[Diluc sighs and shifts, and he can't keep his eyes steady on Venti's. It's a sore topic, a sensitive one, and no one really understands just how badly that night had broken them apart.]
I still don't know if I can trust him. I don't know how much a promise from him is really worth.
[When you spend so long feeling betrayed by somebody, it's hard to just turn it off.]
Kaeya was all I had to turn to after father died, and after I turned my back on the Knights. And then it was as if, in an instant... I'd never really had him at all.
[ There's question lingering there, but he doesn't seem to be expecting an answer. He doesn't know, there's no reason he would, though. He's pretty sure he was asleep when everything went down with Crepus, and then between Kaeya and Diluc. He shifts his weight when Diluc's attention falters, and moves so that he can do one very important thing.
He presses a small kiss to the center if Diluc's forehead.
Sometimes it's easy for Venti to forget how young Diluc is. How young Kaeya is, too. He doesn't often feel old but in moments like this where he wants to make a young man he cares about feel reassured that what he feels is fine to feel - he feels old. He feels old and free. And he doesn't necessarily hate it. ]
Then I guess -- you just need to give him the opportunity to prove he can be trusted.
[He lets his eyes close and lets himself relax as Venti kisses his forehead. Not all the way, but just enough for some of the tension to leave his shoulders and for a soft exhale to escape him. Just like Venti forgets how young he is, Diluc often forgets just how old Venti is.
Moments like this do a lot to make him remember.
The redhead half-opens his eyes, teal shot through the bright fire of his irises, and he huffs out a soft breath through his nose.]
I don't think you need me to tell you that that's harder than it sounds.
[But he wants to, doesn't he? He wants to trust Kaeya again.
[ Soft affection is so easy with him. He lets a hand settle on Diluc's cheek after he places that kiss on his forehead. The shift in color doesn't go unnoticed. And Venti really likes it because it means something. To him, seeing the effects of a bond on another is just...nice. It's a wordless confession that you matter to someone. ]
You don't.
[ But Diluc's never struck him as the sort who wouldn't at least try, even if something was hard. Especially if he truly wanted it. And there's always an option to not continue if he didn't want to. ]
You know, Diluc...I never would have imagined you in teal, but I really like it.
[ A soft kiss on the cheek to follow, and then he'll settle down. There's small feathers that appear towards the top of venti's braids, almost like tiny wings on top of his head. They're black and red - and different from before. ]
[Diluc huffs out a soft chuckle, and he lifts a hand up to lightly touch the feathers appearing on the sides of Venti's head. They're... different, and he doesn't need to ask to know that it's because of him. He's still not quite sure what he thinks of having such things displayed so openly, but it's always so interesting to see how it shows on different people.
He curls his fingers underneath Venti's chin, tips his head up and presses a soft and entirely chaste kiss to his mouth.
And it doesn't feel awkward at all.
Then he tucks the bard in against his chest, letting out a slow and comfortable sigh.]
[ Venti, who has never been shy about affection, likes these displays. He is especially fond of the small ones, those hints of himself in others - like the teal that appears on Diluc. Especially when it's such a contrast to the red. To him it says that he is a part of him. And for Venti, a god who has always loved humanity (and who became a god because he did), that matters more than anything else. He returns that chaste kiss in the moment without hesitation.
It almost feels like second nature to be so affectionate with his friend. He's grateful for Diluc. He adds a strong balance to Venti's life that he so rarely gets. Diluc is stern because he cares, he thinks. And he never really knew he needed that. And Venti listens because he cares about Diluc's feelings. About the things he says. They're important to him.
So he tucks in because it's nice, because he wants that affection, because it is right to be close to someone you care for. ]
I'm kind of fond of it on me.
[ After all, there's no reason to question sincerity if the colors shine bright. His hand settles on Diluc's chest. ]
It's like -- the magic here agrees with what I've always known - that you're important to me.
[He exhales a soft chuckle over the top of Venti's head as he holds him, curling one hand against the back of his hair and allowing a soft smile to touch his lips. Being important to someone like that, it's... a nice feeling.]
You've said that before. [Diluc muses, having never been in any doubt that Venti cares about him as he would care for anyone he viewed as one of his own. Yet... when he says it, there's that feeling of it being something more than the fondness of an archon for their people.]
I could say that I feel honoured to be so beloved of the anemo archon. [Though from Diluc, who has never been particularly pious, such a thing might ring hollow. He kisses the top of Venti's head.]
But I think... the honour of being so beloved of Venti the bard is far greater.
[ He could feel a flush in his cheeks, stretching all the way to the tips of his ears, which turned pink. It's not that he was embarrassed, not really. He has said it, and he will always say it. It's a sentiment worth repeating for Diluc to hear and be reminded of. Because he thinks it's important for someone to know that they are cared for, and that someone finds them an important part of their lives. ]
Diluc is right. He does care for all of his people, yes - as the Anemo Archon. However, as himself who spends time with his people under the guise of Venti the Bard -- he cared about very specific individuals as more than them being from Mondstadt. Diluc was among those people. He's delighted to hear that Diluc seems to understand the difference. ]
I'm glad.
[ A giggle. He shifts to give Diluc a kiss on the cheek. ]
I'm glad that you understand that. You know, you're pretty comfy. Are you feeling any better?
[He still feels fragile, worn out, but he doesn't feel as weighted down as he did when Venti had first knocked on the door. The kiss to his cheek makes him smile and he moves his hand from the back of Venti's head to cup his cheek, keeping his head tipped up.]
It must be your magic.
[That is mostly a joke.
Diluc strokes his thumb gently across the bard's cheek bone, then presses another soft kiss to his mouth. It's... gentle and still chaste, almost appreciative in nature, and he lets it linger for a moment.]
[ He returns the kiss, as equally chaste but eager all the same. Venti's affectionate by nature, so of course he doesn't pass up the offered kiss. He reaches a hand and rests it on his cheek there, and then he speaks. ]
Well, I do have a bit of healing magic here. I'm still practicing, but I've gotten pretty good at what they have to offer.
[ He smiles brightly at that. He knows Diluc was teasing a little bit, but he still - makes the offer anyway. Because it's nice for him to know. ]
So if you ever need some smaller healing, I can do that, too. But I'd check in on you anytime. Because, you know, that's what I do.
[People don't often get to see the softer sides of Diluc Ragnvindr. It takes a certain kind of person to get him to let all of his guard down, but lying side by side with Venti like this... he has certainly done that.]
I know.
[It's... nice. Just being here like this.]
I think... I should try to get some sleep. But you can stay if you want to.
[ He'll - well, fall asleep himself there. He's comfortable next to Diluc and it's easy here with him. He figured it was polite enough to warn the guy, go. You know, so he doesn't wake up surprised that Venti has opted to stay here while he rested (and inevitably sleep himself). ]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2021-09-20 11:31 am (UTC)He had been so idealistic when he was young. Bright, cheerful, charming, utterly devoted to both his family and his role in the Knights of Favonius. It had all been ripped away, all at once. Nothing could have prepared him for it.
Diluc sighs very softly.]
I could have forgiven him, couldn't I? [He murmurs. It seems he's only half speaking to Venti when he says it.] It didn't have to be the way it was. I think he just... reminds me of everything I've lost.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-21 02:26 am (UTC)[ Mondstadt is about following your own path, after all. And Venti wants them to do that. He wants Diluc to do that. To decide for himself how he feels about things and then go the direction he thinks works best for himself. ]
It can take people a long time to heal. A lifetime, even. I think you're doing alright.
[ He's 100% not the right person to ask, and he knows he's not, too. He's been stuck in his own loop for many lifetimes. His eyes shift closed despite Diluc's hand getting still, and he shifts, settling his head against the other. ]
It's not easy to forget things you lose. You probably never will forget.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-21 04:58 pm (UTC)He's not sure. He isn't sure if he has even now. Diluc frowns as an uncomfortable sensation that is nothing at all to do with his still-delicate physical state settles in the centre of his chest. He'd never thought of it as a matter of wanting. Either he would, or he wouldn't.
And he hasn't.]
No. I don't think I will. [As for what that means... he isn't sure.
Diluc shifts, turning slightly onto his side and wrapping one arm around Venti to pull the small bard close into his chest. He tips his chin up to rest it on top of Venti's head and closes his eyes, exhaling softly.]
... I miss my father. He'd know what to do.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-22 02:57 am (UTC)He hasn't forgotten anyone he's met and cared for.
And he hasn't ever handled the loss of people precious to him well. There's a reason that he has this face and this body. He can understand why Diluc would want him back around to seek his advice. He thinks it's important for the other to hold onto that desire, even if the man he seeks is gone. It's important to have them. ]
I bet he would, but it's up to you now. Which might not be what you want to hear. But you'll make the right choice.
[ He glances up at Diluc, without even really moving - and although he really only sees the other's chin and chest -- he adds. ]
You know, Diluc, you remind me of someone that I knew a long time ago. He was reliable and strong. And I think that's why I know you'll make the right choice.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-22 02:32 pm (UTC)When he feels Venti trying to look up at him he shifts back slightly to look down, moving his arm to make it easier for the bard to move too. He brushes one of the braids back from his face, over his shoulder, and a tiny smile pulls at one corner of his mouth.]
You know, when you say it like that, I almost believe it.
[And then, quite gently, he plants a kiss on Venti's forehead.]
I think... I'm tired of being angry. [He murmurs.] And-- I miss my brother. Even if things can never be exactly like they were.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-25 05:10 pm (UTC)He enjoys the friendship that he has with Diluc, and he'd never do anything intentionally to jeopardize that. If people forget who he is from time to time, that's fine with him; however, right now - he's going to use who and what he is to make his point. ]
I know what I'm talking about.
[ He lets out a small hmmm. ]
They won't be the same, but then there's no lies. Isn't that better?
[ His eyes are still locked on, studying Diluc's face curiously. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-09-29 05:38 pm (UTC)[Diluc sighs and shifts, and he can't keep his eyes steady on Venti's. It's a sore topic, a sensitive one, and no one really understands just how badly that night had broken them apart.]
I still don't know if I can trust him. I don't know how much a promise from him is really worth.
[When you spend so long feeling betrayed by somebody, it's hard to just turn it off.]
Kaeya was all I had to turn to after father died, and after I turned my back on the Knights. And then it was as if, in an instant... I'd never really had him at all.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-02 02:15 am (UTC)[ There's question lingering there, but he doesn't seem to be expecting an answer. He doesn't know, there's no reason he would, though. He's pretty sure he was asleep when everything went down with Crepus, and then between Kaeya and Diluc. He shifts his weight when Diluc's attention falters, and moves so that he can do one very important thing.
He presses a small kiss to the center if Diluc's forehead.
Sometimes it's easy for Venti to forget how young Diluc is. How young Kaeya is, too. He doesn't often feel old but in moments like this where he wants to make a young man he cares about feel reassured that what he feels is fine to feel - he feels old. He feels old and free. And he doesn't necessarily hate it. ]
Then I guess -- you just need to give him the opportunity to prove he can be trusted.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-04 12:06 am (UTC)Moments like this do a lot to make him remember.
The redhead half-opens his eyes, teal shot through the bright fire of his irises, and he huffs out a soft breath through his nose.]
I don't think you need me to tell you that that's harder than it sounds.
[But he wants to, doesn't he? He wants to trust Kaeya again.
He wants his brother back.]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-06 04:31 am (UTC)You don't.
[ But Diluc's never struck him as the sort who wouldn't at least try, even if something was hard. Especially if he truly wanted it. And there's always an option to not continue if he didn't want to. ]
You know, Diluc...I never would have imagined you in teal, but I really like it.
[ A soft kiss on the cheek to follow, and then he'll settle down. There's small feathers that appear towards the top of venti's braids, almost like tiny wings on top of his head. They're black and red - and different from before. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-10 10:49 pm (UTC)He curls his fingers underneath Venti's chin, tips his head up and presses a soft and entirely chaste kiss to his mouth.
And it doesn't feel awkward at all.
Then he tucks the bard in against his chest, letting out a slow and comfortable sigh.]
And I never would have imagined you in red.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-12 11:46 am (UTC)It almost feels like second nature to be so affectionate with his friend. He's grateful for Diluc. He adds a strong balance to Venti's life that he so rarely gets. Diluc is stern because he cares, he thinks. And he never really knew he needed that. And Venti listens because he cares about Diluc's feelings. About the things he says. They're important to him.
So he tucks in because it's nice, because he wants that affection, because it is right to be close to someone you care for. ]
I'm kind of fond of it on me.
[ After all, there's no reason to question sincerity if the colors shine bright. His hand settles on Diluc's chest. ]
It's like -- the magic here agrees with what I've always known - that you're important to me.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-18 03:22 pm (UTC)You've said that before. [Diluc muses, having never been in any doubt that Venti cares about him as he would care for anyone he viewed as one of his own. Yet... when he says it, there's that feeling of it being something more than the fondness of an archon for their people.]
I could say that I feel honoured to be so beloved of the anemo archon. [Though from Diluc, who has never been particularly pious, such a thing might ring hollow. He kisses the top of Venti's head.]
But I think... the honour of being so beloved of Venti the bard is far greater.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-19 12:22 am (UTC)Diluc is right. He does care for all of his people, yes - as the Anemo Archon. However, as himself who spends time with his people under the guise of Venti the Bard -- he cared about very specific individuals as more than them being from Mondstadt. Diluc was among those people. He's delighted to hear that Diluc seems to understand the difference. ]
I'm glad.
[ A giggle. He shifts to give Diluc a kiss on the cheek. ]
I'm glad that you understand that. You know, you're pretty comfy. Are you feeling any better?
no subject
Date: 2021-10-23 07:21 pm (UTC)[He still feels fragile, worn out, but he doesn't feel as weighted down as he did when Venti had first knocked on the door. The kiss to his cheek makes him smile and he moves his hand from the back of Venti's head to cup his cheek, keeping his head tipped up.]
It must be your magic.
[That is mostly a joke.
Diluc strokes his thumb gently across the bard's cheek bone, then presses another soft kiss to his mouth. It's... gentle and still chaste, almost appreciative in nature, and he lets it linger for a moment.]
Thank you for checking in on me.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-26 04:56 am (UTC)Well, I do have a bit of healing magic here. I'm still practicing, but I've gotten pretty good at what they have to offer.
[ He smiles brightly at that. He knows Diluc was teasing a little bit, but he still - makes the offer anyway. Because it's nice for him to know. ]
So if you ever need some smaller healing, I can do that, too. But I'd check in on you anytime. Because, you know, that's what I do.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-30 10:43 pm (UTC)I know.
[It's... nice. Just being here like this.]
I think... I should try to get some sleep. But you can stay if you want to.
we're at a fin. <3
Date: 2021-10-31 07:02 am (UTC)Alright. I'll stay. You get some rest.
[ He'll - well, fall asleep himself there. He's comfortable next to Diluc and it's easy here with him. He figured it was polite enough to warn the guy, go. You know, so he doesn't wake up surprised that Venti has opted to stay here while he rested (and inevitably sleep himself). ]