[Diluc had noticed, but he had never really connected it to a complete loss of memory. Sometimes people just weren't aware of things for no fault of their own and it had never been something he had thought was all that strange.
And he doesn't, yet, understand why all of this is something that Chuuya thinks he should know. There had been a certain urgency about that and this is a lot of information to be told at once. Not that he doesn't feel privileged to hear it - he does - but...]
You thought you made the crater? [Did he get that part right?
Maybe it was due to the way he had been introduced to Chuuya's ability - a giggling drunk floating against the ceiling doesn't exactly scream 'danger to humanity' - but he has never seen the man as something inhuman... or anything more or less than exactly what he is.]
[he lets out a laugh at the ‘thought’ part.] Oh no Diluc, that part was true at least. I’ve made several since, though none quite that big.
[This is Chuuya, in a roundabout way making it clear who Diluc is dating. It’s one thing to know you’re dating a mafia executive, another to—] I found out eventually, the name ‘Arahabaki’ I remembered wasn’t referring to a god, it was the name of a top secret government project. One meant to lab produce ability users that could be controlled as weapons, ones with incredible power. Because while abilities are powerful, the only beings capable of using them are human beings.
[He skips over the stuff about singularities. It's scientific mumbo jumbo for 'unlimited energy' essentially.]
[His expression flickers, but he isn't really surprised. He's seen what Chuuya can do when he's restraining himself and the bruises on his ribs had taken weeks to fade. This man, he has no doubt, has the potential to do tremendous damage with the kind of power that he possesses.
But despite what his statement makes clear, Diluc doesn't move away from him. He keeps listening instead, deciding to hear all of it before making his decision.
Diluc keeps listening... and Chuuya would no doubt feel his frame stiffen slightly beside him. Not when he talks about the explosions really being him, but rather when he talks about 'lab produced ability users'. Oh, it's a distant thing for Diluc - something he's only heard about and never seen personally - but the very topic itself brings to mind someone who he would not hesitate to end the life of should they suddenly be stood in front of him.]
[It's easier to say these days, but... The way Diluc stiffens. This is the part that, in some tiny ways, Chuuya is nervous about his response to. He knows who he is, and he's long settled that matter for himself, but he isn't going to make excuses to make it more... palatable, if Diluc finds this distasteful.]
I apparently got free when two guys on a mission to bring me back to their country busted me out... and during a fight between the two I escaped, the whole lab getting leveled in the process.
[And that... is all he'll say about Rimbaud and Verlaine, because they deserve that much respect for their story.] Didn't stop the project head from showing up years later to try and 'fix' me, because apparently my personality was unsuitable [A snort, because that's a fun way of saying Chuuya's stubborn as shit and does what he wants. He still has scars from professor N's torture session, deep punctures as if he'd been impaled through the chest, the barest hint of Lichtenberg figures.] but he's not a problem anymore.
[He finds it distasteful, but not for the reason Chuuya is concerned about. Diluc finds it distasteful in the same way that any sane, morally sound person would find it distasteful that people were being experimented on in such a way, children no less, and thoughts of Dottore aside the idea of someone he cares about having been through that is not a pleasant thought either.
The rest of it, of course, doesn't help.
Diluc takes a moment to compose his expression before he looks at Chuuya again. He doesn't need to ask what is meant by 'he's not a problem'. Something swells up in his chest and he reaches over to pull the smaller man in against him, both arms wrapped tight around his body. His chin props lightly against the top of Chuuya's head.
He doubts Chuuya needs any comfort for it, but just sitting there doesn't feel like enough.]
[Chuuya waits, quietly, for further reaction from Diluc. And the reaction he gets...
Well, he can't deny the way his nerves dissipate when Diluc reaches over and tugs him close, something settling in his chest akin to a deflating balloon, or soda bubbles fading away. He leans into Diluc, tucking his back against him to more fully feel the embrace, head settling against Diluc's chest.
It's strange being embraced like this, like Diluc can curl around him and protect him from the world. But it's a nice feeling.]
He was crushed to death. Not by me, but by someone else. It was probably quick, but definitely painful. [It's said with some dark humor. He can't exactly say he's disappointed, after the shit N put him through.] But the concrete knowledge of whether I was born a human being died with him, too. Not that I care about that, anymore.
[The only real proof he might have been born a human was a tiny scar on his wrist, and even that was inconclusive.
Whether he was truly born a human being is irrelevant, because he knows who he is. This body, with all it's scars, his hair, skin and veins... it was all his, every cell. Every experience he's had, every memory he carries... those are all him.] Before anything else I might be, I'm me.
[He wasn't entirely sure if Chuuya would accept being tugged in close like that, but he's relieved when he does. Archons knew Chuuya didn't need protecting and Diluc understands that now more than he ever had before... but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel some sense of responsibility for him right now when telling him all of this can't have been a pleasant experience.]
Yeah.
[Diluc takes one of Chuuya's hands in his, rubs his thumb across the back of his knuckles, then squeezes his fingers around it. There's a whole lot here that he doesn't really understand and probably never would no matter how many questions he asked but he doesn't think that's the point anyway. The point is that Chuuya wanted him to know this about him, whatever his reaction to it might have been.
He exhales a quiet chuckle.]
You're you. [Simple and complicated all at once.] And if it means anything... You're more than human enough for me.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2022-09-03 03:52 pm (UTC)And he doesn't, yet, understand why all of this is something that Chuuya thinks he should know. There had been a certain urgency about that and this is a lot of information to be told at once. Not that he doesn't feel privileged to hear it - he does - but...]
You thought you made the crater? [Did he get that part right?
Maybe it was due to the way he had been introduced to Chuuya's ability - a giggling drunk floating against the ceiling doesn't exactly scream 'danger to humanity' - but he has never seen the man as something inhuman... or anything more or less than exactly what he is.]
Keep going. I'm listening.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-04 12:18 am (UTC)[This is Chuuya, in a roundabout way making it clear who Diluc is dating. It’s one thing to know you’re dating a mafia executive, another to—] I found out eventually, the name ‘Arahabaki’ I remembered wasn’t referring to a god, it was the name of a top secret government project. One meant to lab produce ability users that could be controlled as weapons, ones with incredible power. Because while abilities are powerful, the only beings capable of using them are human beings.
[He skips over the stuff about singularities. It's scientific mumbo jumbo for 'unlimited energy' essentially.]
no subject
Date: 2022-09-08 07:20 pm (UTC)But despite what his statement makes clear, Diluc doesn't move away from him. He keeps listening instead, deciding to hear all of it before making his decision.
Diluc keeps listening... and Chuuya would no doubt feel his frame stiffen slightly beside him. Not when he talks about the explosions really being him, but rather when he talks about 'lab produced ability users'. Oh, it's a distant thing for Diluc - something he's only heard about and never seen personally - but the very topic itself brings to mind someone who he would not hesitate to end the life of should they suddenly be stood in front of him.]
And you... you were one of them?
[An experiment?]
no subject
Date: 2022-09-09 04:44 am (UTC)[It's easier to say these days, but... The way Diluc stiffens. This is the part that, in some tiny ways, Chuuya is nervous about his response to. He knows who he is, and he's long settled that matter for himself, but he isn't going to make excuses to make it more... palatable, if Diluc finds this distasteful.]
I apparently got free when two guys on a mission to bring me back to their country busted me out... and during a fight between the two I escaped, the whole lab getting leveled in the process.
[And that... is all he'll say about Rimbaud and Verlaine, because they deserve that much respect for their story.] Didn't stop the project head from showing up years later to try and 'fix' me, because apparently my personality was unsuitable [A snort, because that's a fun way of saying Chuuya's stubborn as shit and does what he wants. He still has scars from professor N's torture session, deep punctures as if he'd been impaled through the chest, the barest hint of Lichtenberg figures.] but he's not a problem anymore.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-09 09:03 am (UTC)The rest of it, of course, doesn't help.
Diluc takes a moment to compose his expression before he looks at Chuuya again. He doesn't need to ask what is meant by 'he's not a problem'. Something swells up in his chest and he reaches over to pull the smaller man in against him, both arms wrapped tight around his body. His chin props lightly against the top of Chuuya's head.
He doubts Chuuya needs any comfort for it, but just sitting there doesn't feel like enough.]
I hope he fucking suffered.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-09 10:10 am (UTC)Well, he can't deny the way his nerves dissipate when Diluc reaches over and tugs him close, something settling in his chest akin to a deflating balloon, or soda bubbles fading away. He leans into Diluc, tucking his back against him to more fully feel the embrace, head settling against Diluc's chest.
It's strange being embraced like this, like Diluc can curl around him and protect him from the world. But it's a nice feeling.]
He was crushed to death. Not by me, but by someone else. It was probably quick, but definitely painful. [It's said with some dark humor. He can't exactly say he's disappointed, after the shit N put him through.] But the concrete knowledge of whether I was born a human being died with him, too. Not that I care about that, anymore.
[The only real proof he might have been born a human was a tiny scar on his wrist, and even that was inconclusive.
Whether he was truly born a human being is irrelevant, because he knows who he is. This body, with all it's scars, his hair, skin and veins... it was all his, every cell. Every experience he's had, every memory he carries... those are all him.] Before anything else I might be, I'm me.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-12 08:01 pm (UTC)Yeah.
[Diluc takes one of Chuuya's hands in his, rubs his thumb across the back of his knuckles, then squeezes his fingers around it. There's a whole lot here that he doesn't really understand and probably never would no matter how many questions he asked but he doesn't think that's the point anyway. The point is that Chuuya wanted him to know this about him, whatever his reaction to it might have been.
He exhales a quiet chuckle.]
You're you. [Simple and complicated all at once.] And if it means anything... You're more than human enough for me.