[He finds it distasteful, but not for the reason Chuuya is concerned about. Diluc finds it distasteful in the same way that any sane, morally sound person would find it distasteful that people were being experimented on in such a way, children no less, and thoughts of Dottore aside the idea of someone he cares about having been through that is not a pleasant thought either.
The rest of it, of course, doesn't help.
Diluc takes a moment to compose his expression before he looks at Chuuya again. He doesn't need to ask what is meant by 'he's not a problem'. Something swells up in his chest and he reaches over to pull the smaller man in against him, both arms wrapped tight around his body. His chin props lightly against the top of Chuuya's head.
He doubts Chuuya needs any comfort for it, but just sitting there doesn't feel like enough.]
[Chuuya waits, quietly, for further reaction from Diluc. And the reaction he gets...
Well, he can't deny the way his nerves dissipate when Diluc reaches over and tugs him close, something settling in his chest akin to a deflating balloon, or soda bubbles fading away. He leans into Diluc, tucking his back against him to more fully feel the embrace, head settling against Diluc's chest.
It's strange being embraced like this, like Diluc can curl around him and protect him from the world. But it's a nice feeling.]
He was crushed to death. Not by me, but by someone else. It was probably quick, but definitely painful. [It's said with some dark humor. He can't exactly say he's disappointed, after the shit N put him through.] But the concrete knowledge of whether I was born a human being died with him, too. Not that I care about that, anymore.
[The only real proof he might have been born a human was a tiny scar on his wrist, and even that was inconclusive.
Whether he was truly born a human being is irrelevant, because he knows who he is. This body, with all it's scars, his hair, skin and veins... it was all his, every cell. Every experience he's had, every memory he carries... those are all him.] Before anything else I might be, I'm me.
[He wasn't entirely sure if Chuuya would accept being tugged in close like that, but he's relieved when he does. Archons knew Chuuya didn't need protecting and Diluc understands that now more than he ever had before... but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel some sense of responsibility for him right now when telling him all of this can't have been a pleasant experience.]
Yeah.
[Diluc takes one of Chuuya's hands in his, rubs his thumb across the back of his knuckles, then squeezes his fingers around it. There's a whole lot here that he doesn't really understand and probably never would no matter how many questions he asked but he doesn't think that's the point anyway. The point is that Chuuya wanted him to know this about him, whatever his reaction to it might have been.
He exhales a quiet chuckle.]
You're you. [Simple and complicated all at once.] And if it means anything... You're more than human enough for me.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2022-09-09 09:03 am (UTC)The rest of it, of course, doesn't help.
Diluc takes a moment to compose his expression before he looks at Chuuya again. He doesn't need to ask what is meant by 'he's not a problem'. Something swells up in his chest and he reaches over to pull the smaller man in against him, both arms wrapped tight around his body. His chin props lightly against the top of Chuuya's head.
He doubts Chuuya needs any comfort for it, but just sitting there doesn't feel like enough.]
I hope he fucking suffered.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-09 10:10 am (UTC)Well, he can't deny the way his nerves dissipate when Diluc reaches over and tugs him close, something settling in his chest akin to a deflating balloon, or soda bubbles fading away. He leans into Diluc, tucking his back against him to more fully feel the embrace, head settling against Diluc's chest.
It's strange being embraced like this, like Diluc can curl around him and protect him from the world. But it's a nice feeling.]
He was crushed to death. Not by me, but by someone else. It was probably quick, but definitely painful. [It's said with some dark humor. He can't exactly say he's disappointed, after the shit N put him through.] But the concrete knowledge of whether I was born a human being died with him, too. Not that I care about that, anymore.
[The only real proof he might have been born a human was a tiny scar on his wrist, and even that was inconclusive.
Whether he was truly born a human being is irrelevant, because he knows who he is. This body, with all it's scars, his hair, skin and veins... it was all his, every cell. Every experience he's had, every memory he carries... those are all him.] Before anything else I might be, I'm me.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-12 08:01 pm (UTC)Yeah.
[Diluc takes one of Chuuya's hands in his, rubs his thumb across the back of his knuckles, then squeezes his fingers around it. There's a whole lot here that he doesn't really understand and probably never would no matter how many questions he asked but he doesn't think that's the point anyway. The point is that Chuuya wanted him to know this about him, whatever his reaction to it might have been.
He exhales a quiet chuckle.]
You're you. [Simple and complicated all at once.] And if it means anything... You're more than human enough for me.