[His brow twitches together in a frown. It isn't that he isn't concerned - of course he is - but things between them always carry a peculiar undercurrent of tension and Diluc is often wary of showing any kind of vulnerability. Only ever believe half of what Kaeya says, and examine even that with close scrutiny.
But he really does look terrible.
When he turns around and buckles, Diluc is quick to put an arm around him to keep him from entirely crumpling to the floor.]
Since you've already bothered me you might as well come in. [Somehow, he has managed not to spill his coffee while trying to haul the taller man fully upright again.
[Kaeya is aware he deserved the scrutiny he often gets, the distance and barely concealed annoyance. It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, though. But it never stopped him, either.
He ended up leaning into Diluc once his arm was around him. It was all too easy, really. He was warm. He laid his head against Diluc's broad shoulder.]
'm sick, can't you tell? [He finally let go of his mask at this point, shoulders dropping, he mumbled softly.] Guess it's what happens when you don't touch anyone. Before turning to stone.
[Of course. Of course it's that. Diluc hasn't suffered any ill effects from this need to make physical contact thus far because despite coming across as standoffish he is not adverse to touching others when necessary. A casual touch here and there hasn't been a problem for him to keep up with.
But of course Kaeya would make his own life difficult.
Diluc sighs and shuts the door of the apartment with his foot while still balancing his coffee cup and trying to keep Kaeya from collapsing.]
Hopeless. I should have guessed. [Honestly. He looks around for a moment, a little baffled about what step to take next. Dropping the cup is not an option.] Can you get yourself to the couch? I don't have enough hands for this.
[He didn't want to move anymore. But Kaeya realized he probably didn't have much of a choice. He nodded. He wasn't at all confident that he could actually make it there but considering they were still by the front door, there wasn't a way for Diluc to adjust his hold.
He grunted and reached out for the wall, using that to lean on and make his way to the couch. At least the layout was the same, so Kaeya using the walls and furniture until he could plop down on couch didn't take too long.]
...
[He just realized he wasn't wearing his eye patch. Great. He tiredly switched sides before Diluc got any closer, that way he could get his hair arranged.]
'm surprised. You allowing others to touch you, your grumpy face not scaring them away.
I'm sure it's a massive shock to you to hear I'm capable of being sociable.
[Particularly when it is beneficial to his health. He has actually made a couple of friends - sort of. Diluc is wary of calling people friends so soon, but given a little more time perhaps he might come to call them that.
Kaeya struggles his way over to the couch and he isn't far behind. He places his coffee cup down on the table and sits down beside him, trying to pretend that he doesn't notice both the missing eyepatch and the way that the other man shifts to arrange his hair to cover his eye.
Shaking his head, Diluc sighs and offers one of his hands to his companion. He knows what is needed here and there's no point in being cagey about it.]
Give me your hand. [All in all, he would prefer not to have to deal with Kaeya turning into stone. Not now or later.] Come on. I don't bite.
[Kaeya actually knew he could be, but knowing was different than seeing. Of course, once again, Kaeya deserved the treatment he got from Diluc compared to literally everyone else.
Kaeya would also like to not be stone, now or later, so after a huff, he finally grasped Diluc's hand.
Oh. It felt nice.
Very nice.
A pang of nostalgia hit him in the chest.]
...I miss this.
[It was mumbled and quiet, and out of his mouth before he could stop himself. He actually didn't even realize he said it until two seconds later. Once he did, he turned his head away.]
[Given that Diluc has not been touch-avoidant while he has been in Nightwake, he doesn't feel quite the same rush of euphoria that Kaeya does when he finally takes hold of his hand. It does still feel quite nice, though, and he curls his fingers around the other man's before he hears those quiet words leave him.
The redhead stills, looking up at Kaeya as his head turns away. His bright gaze burns against the small section of dark skin that he can still see, but he doesn't let go of the hand in his.]
Miss what, exactly?
[Things hadn't been the same between them since that day. Since Diluc's return to Mondstadt the two of them had been slowly repairing bridges, tentatively reaching out to mend fragments of the connection they had once had, but it still wasn't like it used to be. Diluc still cares. Of course he does, or why would he be doing this? But Kaeya had always been so respectful - if sometimes bitter - of the distance between them that he had never given that much thought to the idea that missing their former closeness might be felt so strongly.
He sighs and closes his free hand over the top of Kaeya's knuckles.]
[If Diluc has to ask, then it wasn't something Kaeya wanted to discuss or clarify. Instead, he kept his head turned away, drawing up his knees so he could rest his aching head on them. His shoulders hunched up a little as he felt those eyes bore into him. But he was resolute in not answering. He wasn't ready to answer.
It was the stupid fever. It had to be.
Kaeya flinched when Diluc rested his other hand on top. That wasn't fair. Not at all.]
I'll be fine. Good to know what the limits are and such, anyway.
[Not that he planned on waiting five days again. No, he would make more of an effort, even if he really didn't want to.]
[The redhead lets out a soft breath through his nose, slow and steady, and turns his attention down to their joined hands. It does make his chest ache in a very particular, bittersweet kind of way.]
You might have asked, instead of testing those limits yourself. [He mutters, shifting so that the back of the hand below Kaeya's is resting on his knee. Diluc isn't sure how long it's going to take for the other man to start feeling better... if it's going to be a while they are probably going to find a more comfortable position to sit in.]
Is this so objectionable to you that you can't even look at me? [Without Adelinde or the Traveller to act as a buffer between them, things do feel... strained. There's a reason they have only communicated via letter for some time.] I'll make you a drink if you're staying.
At the very least, his fever seemed to be breaking already. But the ache in his joints were still there. He was still very tired. He also didn't know how to answer Diluc.
It wasn't objectionable, but he was embarrassed to have revealed how much he missed the other man's company. How much he missed the camaraderie they used to have. It was an awful feeling he carried since the tragedy and even while they slowly mended the broken bridges he thought irreparable.]
It's not... [Sigh.] It's fine, Diluc. I'm not objecting. Just.
[He turned his head slightly, one eye peeking through his bangs slightly, the hint of a scar showing>]
[At least, Diluc thinks, it was him who was nearby. If he'd found out that Kaeya had succumbed to this because he didn't have anyone to turn to or left it too late...
Would he have felt guilty? Would he have felt responsible, somehow, that he wasn't able to step in in time to keep something from happening to the other man? Diluc already dislikes being here and already has in mind the number of people he feels he has to watch out for.
His eyes linger on the edge of the outline of the scar across Kaeya's eye.]
... Fine.
[He has the rest of his coffee anyway, but he's not really thinking about drinking it.]
I hope you're not going to make a habit of this. [And he isn't thinking, really, as he rubs the side of his thumb against Kaeya's hand. As if he's trying to comfort him.] Next time I might not be here to come to your rescue.
[Kaeya felt the stroke against his hand, but he elected not to comment. Instead, he snorted softly and looked away again.]
There won't be a next time, Diluc.
[He was going to make sure of that, even if it meant actually needing to get close enough to people to hold hands. He may actually enjoy people's company, he generally shied away from physical affection of any kind if he could help it. Klee, notwithstanding.]
This isn't something I want to feel again. Everything hurts.
[It's good to hear him say that it won't be a next time, but he isn't sure just how much he trusts Kaeya when it comes to this kind of thing.
Sigh. Something else to think about.]
At least let me get you something warm to put on.
[Since he walked over here in his pyjamas, obviously feeling terrible if he hadn't stopped to get dressed and even overlooked putting his eyepatch on. It isn't that Diluc wants to leave him on his own but gruffly fussing like this is his way of showing that be cares.]
You can stay here for a bit. I don't have any plans to go anywhere.
His hand tightened a little at the suggestion. This time, he turned his head fully with eyes wide.]
No, stay here.
[Something about this whole thing really had Kaeya on edge, but not necessarily that he was sitting next to Diluc holding his hand. That was the small comfort he was feeling and he didn't want it to stop.
[It's strange to see Kaeya like this. Not because he knows the man as someone calm and cocky, who always seems to have a sly answer for everything and never lets his weaknesses show, but because he still remembers the little boy who used to cling to his hand and follow him everywhere.
Diluc would be lying if he said he didn't sometimes miss it too.
He sighs, and moves his hand from the top of Kaeya's to put his arm around the other man's back instead.]
[Ultimately, Kaeya was still that scared little boy. That part of him was just buried by the mask he always wore. Deep down, he was scared and he did not want to know what fate had in store for him. Especially now that he knew that his own ancestors started the Abyss Order. It felt like time was running out. And now, because he hadn't touched anyone for the last five or so days, he was on his way to turning to stone.
Was time always running out for him? It felt like it.
When Diluc put his arm around him, Kaeya didn't fight it. He leaned into the warmth.]
[Kaeya leans in, and he tucks his arm more securely around him as he rests his chin up on top of the younger man's head.
Strange. It's... very strange, but he doesn't object too strongly. Kaeya is clearly sick and scared and... what kind of human being would Diluc be if he just shoved him off to find someone else to turn to. He chafes his palm against Kaeya's shoulder and gazes at the opposite wall, lapsing into silence.
Diluc does not like it here. Not even one bit. He is suspicious of the motives of the ones who brought them here to begin with and of the mechanics in place to control them, and of just what they are expected to do while they're here. Seeing Kaeya like this does not make him feel any more warmly towards any of it.]
[He nodded against Diluc's shoulder. This felt so nostalgic and it made his chest hurt again. It was strange to him as well, that his former sworn brother would concede to helping him so fast. He thought Diluc would protest a little more, not because Diluc didn't care, but just that he always seemed to do so before finally relenting with anything Kaeya related. Then again, it didn't take much to let him stay for dinner during the Weinlesefest. Even getting Adelinde in on it.
But he was grateful that Diluc hadn't. Because while he could have probably asked Albedo or Fischl for assistance, assuming he had enough time, he wouldn't be comfortable. He wouldn't be able to relax. Diluc was different.
He always would be.]
Yeah.
[He was getting tired, in fact. Kaeya didn't exactly have an easy sleep due to his condition. He slouched a little more against Diluc.]
[Maybe if Kaeya had not looked so terrible, if he hadn't almost collapsed in the doorway, and if he wasn't so urgently holding on to his hand and all but begging him to not go anywhere even within the confines of the apartment, Diluc would have put up more of a fight against helping him instead of giving in so easily. All of it put together is the perfect combination for the redhead to be worried enough to put any misgivings he might have had aside.
Even so, he wasn't sure how this was going to go. Would they just sit here awkwardly until Kaeya started feeling better? It seems like the man has other ideas as he slouches in against Diluc, and Diluc lets out a soft huff of almost fond irritation.
He shifts his weight, leaning back against the back of the couch.]
You're tired. Put your legs over. [And honestly, if Kaeya doesn't, Diluc is just going to move his legs for him.]
[Kaeya made a face, if a tired one, at that. More confused than anything else.]
Pull my legs over what? I'm fine like this.
[Even if Diluc was the one uncomfortable with this position, he wasn't sure what his legs would do to help that. Sorry Diluc, he's tired, as you said.]
[Diluc sighs sharply, makes a face, and tugs Kaeya's legs over his lap so he isn't sitting scrunched up on the couch next to him. That's no way to sleep, and it wouldn't be comfortable for Diluc in the long run if he nods off like that.]
Like that. Are you fine there?
[Comfortable? Not fretting he's going to run off? His tone is a little sharp, but there's caring under it.]
[Kaeya couldn't help the warmth that spread over his cheeks. He kept his head down, however, to hide the blush. He wasn't completely in Diluc's lap, but he may as well be with the way he was cradled.]
...y-yes, I'm fine.
[What was Diluc thinking? Kaeya didn't understand what the other man's motivations. Helping him out was one thing, but this? He wanted to ask, but he found the words lodged in his throat.]
[It isn't as if they have never been this close before! Diluc's face is a little warm too, but with Kaeya trying to hide his own blushing they both managed to escape notice.
As far as he's concerned, if it helps Kaeya to feel better faster, then it's fine.]
Good. So am I.
[Embarrassing.]
Just relax and try to get some rest. If you're not feeling more like yourself soon I'll have to ask around how else you can be helped.
I would rather you didn't announce this to the world...
[It's been like four years! And those four years were full of tension and grief!
Either way, Kaeya was a little more awake now if only because his heart was racing. He stared at his feet, willing himself to relax. Honestly, it felt too big to be in Diluc's lap and not because of his age. He was a good few inches taller than Diluc, after all.
He couldn't help it. He laughed softly. Their father used to say he was just all legs and now he certainly felt it.]
[It's a boundary pushed to breaking point and then beyond it. Diluc isn't really sure what he's doing except that it's like pushing a boulder down a hill and then running after it as if it can be stopped. He feels foolish, in a way, but they're here now and if Kaeya really minded then he would move.]
... What's so funny?
[He knows what's funny. There's a thread of clear amusement in his own voice as well, though it doesn't quite break into a laugh.]
A few minutes ago you were acting like you were dying.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2023-03-10 03:59 pm (UTC)But he really does look terrible.
When he turns around and buckles, Diluc is quick to put an arm around him to keep him from entirely crumpling to the floor.]
Since you've already bothered me you might as well come in. [Somehow, he has managed not to spill his coffee while trying to haul the taller man fully upright again.
His voice is a little softer as he asks;]
What's wrong with you?
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Date: 2023-03-10 04:21 pm (UTC)He ended up leaning into Diluc once his arm was around him. It was all too easy, really. He was warm. He laid his head against Diluc's broad shoulder.]
'm sick, can't you tell? [He finally let go of his mask at this point, shoulders dropping, he mumbled softly.] Guess it's what happens when you don't touch anyone. Before turning to stone.
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Date: 2023-03-10 04:34 pm (UTC)[Of course. Of course it's that. Diluc hasn't suffered any ill effects from this need to make physical contact thus far because despite coming across as standoffish he is not adverse to touching others when necessary. A casual touch here and there hasn't been a problem for him to keep up with.
But of course Kaeya would make his own life difficult.
Diluc sighs and shuts the door of the apartment with his foot while still balancing his coffee cup and trying to keep Kaeya from collapsing.]
Hopeless. I should have guessed. [Honestly. He looks around for a moment, a little baffled about what step to take next. Dropping the cup is not an option.] Can you get yourself to the couch? I don't have enough hands for this.
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Date: 2023-03-10 05:32 pm (UTC)He grunted and reached out for the wall, using that to lean on and make his way to the couch. At least the layout was the same, so Kaeya using the walls and furniture until he could plop down on couch didn't take too long.]
...
[He just realized he wasn't wearing his eye patch. Great. He tiredly switched sides before Diluc got any closer, that way he could get his hair arranged.]
'm surprised. You allowing others to touch you, your grumpy face not scaring them away.
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Date: 2023-03-10 07:19 pm (UTC)[Particularly when it is beneficial to his health. He has actually made a couple of friends - sort of. Diluc is wary of calling people friends so soon, but given a little more time perhaps he might come to call them that.
Kaeya struggles his way over to the couch and he isn't far behind. He places his coffee cup down on the table and sits down beside him, trying to pretend that he doesn't notice both the missing eyepatch and the way that the other man shifts to arrange his hair to cover his eye.
Shaking his head, Diluc sighs and offers one of his hands to his companion. He knows what is needed here and there's no point in being cagey about it.]
Give me your hand. [All in all, he would prefer not to have to deal with Kaeya turning into stone. Not now or later.] Come on. I don't bite.
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Date: 2023-03-10 08:45 pm (UTC)[Kaeya actually knew he could be, but knowing was different than seeing. Of course, once again, Kaeya deserved the treatment he got from Diluc compared to literally everyone else.
Kaeya would also like to not be stone, now or later, so after a huff, he finally grasped Diluc's hand.
Oh. It felt nice.
Very nice.
A pang of nostalgia hit him in the chest.]
...I miss this.
[It was mumbled and quiet, and out of his mouth before he could stop himself. He actually didn't even realize he said it until two seconds later. Once he did, he turned his head away.]
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Date: 2023-03-10 09:17 pm (UTC)The redhead stills, looking up at Kaeya as his head turns away. His bright gaze burns against the small section of dark skin that he can still see, but he doesn't let go of the hand in his.]
Miss what, exactly?
[Things hadn't been the same between them since that day. Since Diluc's return to Mondstadt the two of them had been slowly repairing bridges, tentatively reaching out to mend fragments of the connection they had once had, but it still wasn't like it used to be. Diluc still cares. Of course he does, or why would he be doing this? But Kaeya had always been so respectful - if sometimes bitter - of the distance between them that he had never given that much thought to the idea that missing their former closeness might be felt so strongly.
He sighs and closes his free hand over the top of Kaeya's knuckles.]
You should take better care of yourself.
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Date: 2023-03-10 09:26 pm (UTC)[If Diluc has to ask, then it wasn't something Kaeya wanted to discuss or clarify. Instead, he kept his head turned away, drawing up his knees so he could rest his aching head on them. His shoulders hunched up a little as he felt those eyes bore into him. But he was resolute in not answering. He wasn't ready to answer.
It was the stupid fever. It had to be.
Kaeya flinched when Diluc rested his other hand on top. That wasn't fair. Not at all.]
I'll be fine. Good to know what the limits are and such, anyway.
[Not that he planned on waiting five days again. No, he would make more of an effort, even if he really didn't want to.]
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Date: 2023-03-10 11:19 pm (UTC)You might have asked, instead of testing those limits yourself. [He mutters, shifting so that the back of the hand below Kaeya's is resting on his knee. Diluc isn't sure how long it's going to take for the other man to start feeling better... if it's going to be a while they are probably going to find a more comfortable position to sit in.]
Is this so objectionable to you that you can't even look at me? [Without Adelinde or the Traveller to act as a buffer between them, things do feel... strained. There's a reason they have only communicated via letter for some time.] I'll make you a drink if you're staying.
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Date: 2023-03-10 11:53 pm (UTC)[It was accidental in the worst way.
At the very least, his fever seemed to be breaking already. But the ache in his joints were still there. He was still very tired. He also didn't know how to answer Diluc.
It wasn't objectionable, but he was embarrassed to have revealed how much he missed the other man's company. How much he missed the camaraderie they used to have. It was an awful feeling he carried since the tragedy and even while they slowly mended the broken bridges he thought irreparable.]
It's not... [Sigh.] It's fine, Diluc. I'm not objecting. Just.
[He turned his head slightly, one eye peeking through his bangs slightly, the hint of a scar showing>]
Just stay here.
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Date: 2023-03-11 12:04 am (UTC)Would he have felt guilty? Would he have felt responsible, somehow, that he wasn't able to step in in time to keep something from happening to the other man? Diluc already dislikes being here and already has in mind the number of people he feels he has to watch out for.
His eyes linger on the edge of the outline of the scar across Kaeya's eye.]
... Fine.
[He has the rest of his coffee anyway, but he's not really thinking about drinking it.]
I hope you're not going to make a habit of this. [And he isn't thinking, really, as he rubs the side of his thumb against Kaeya's hand. As if he's trying to comfort him.] Next time I might not be here to come to your rescue.
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Date: 2023-03-11 01:34 am (UTC)There won't be a next time, Diluc.
[He was going to make sure of that, even if it meant actually needing to get close enough to people to hold hands. He may actually enjoy people's company, he generally shied away from physical affection of any kind if he could help it. Klee, notwithstanding.]
This isn't something I want to feel again. Everything hurts.
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Date: 2023-03-11 01:32 pm (UTC)Sigh. Something else to think about.]
At least let me get you something warm to put on.
[Since he walked over here in his pyjamas, obviously feeling terrible if he hadn't stopped to get dressed and even overlooked putting his eyepatch on. It isn't that Diluc wants to leave him on his own but gruffly fussing like this is his way of showing that be cares.]
You can stay here for a bit. I don't have any plans to go anywhere.
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Date: 2023-03-11 03:34 pm (UTC)His hand tightened a little at the suggestion. This time, he turned his head fully with eyes wide.]
No, stay here.
[Something about this whole thing really had Kaeya on edge, but not necessarily that he was sitting next to Diluc holding his hand. That was the small comfort he was feeling and he didn't want it to stop.
He hid his face again in is knees.]
Please?
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Date: 2023-03-11 03:44 pm (UTC)[It's strange to see Kaeya like this. Not because he knows the man as someone calm and cocky, who always seems to have a sly answer for everything and never lets his weaknesses show, but because he still remembers the little boy who used to cling to his hand and follow him everywhere.
Diluc would be lying if he said he didn't sometimes miss it too.
He sighs, and moves his hand from the top of Kaeya's to put his arm around the other man's back instead.]
All right, all right. Just... come here, then.
[Really... what is he going to do with him.]
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Date: 2023-03-11 03:55 pm (UTC)Was time always running out for him? It felt like it.
When Diluc put his arm around him, Kaeya didn't fight it. He leaned into the warmth.]
...thank you.
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Date: 2023-03-11 04:05 pm (UTC)[Kaeya leans in, and he tucks his arm more securely around him as he rests his chin up on top of the younger man's head.
Strange. It's... very strange, but he doesn't object too strongly. Kaeya is clearly sick and scared and... what kind of human being would Diluc be if he just shoved him off to find someone else to turn to. He chafes his palm against Kaeya's shoulder and gazes at the opposite wall, lapsing into silence.
Diluc does not like it here. Not even one bit. He is suspicious of the motives of the ones who brought them here to begin with and of the mechanics in place to control them, and of just what they are expected to do while they're here. Seeing Kaeya like this does not make him feel any more warmly towards any of it.]
Comfortable?
no subject
Date: 2023-03-11 04:32 pm (UTC)[He nodded against Diluc's shoulder. This felt so nostalgic and it made his chest hurt again. It was strange to him as well, that his former sworn brother would concede to helping him so fast. He thought Diluc would protest a little more, not because Diluc didn't care, but just that he always seemed to do so before finally relenting with anything Kaeya related. Then again, it didn't take much to let him stay for dinner during the Weinlesefest. Even getting Adelinde in on it.
But he was grateful that Diluc hadn't. Because while he could have probably asked Albedo or Fischl for assistance, assuming he had enough time, he wouldn't be comfortable. He wouldn't be able to relax. Diluc was different.
He always would be.]
Yeah.
[He was getting tired, in fact. Kaeya didn't exactly have an easy sleep due to his condition. He slouched a little more against Diluc.]
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Date: 2023-03-11 11:46 pm (UTC)Even so, he wasn't sure how this was going to go. Would they just sit here awkwardly until Kaeya started feeling better? It seems like the man has other ideas as he slouches in against Diluc, and Diluc lets out a soft huff of almost fond irritation.
He shifts his weight, leaning back against the back of the couch.]
You're tired. Put your legs over. [And honestly, if Kaeya doesn't, Diluc is just going to move his legs for him.]
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Date: 2023-03-11 11:57 pm (UTC)Pull my legs over what? I'm fine like this.
[Even if Diluc was the one uncomfortable with this position, he wasn't sure what his legs would do to help that. Sorry Diluc, he's tired, as you said.]
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Date: 2023-03-12 01:58 am (UTC)[Diluc sighs sharply, makes a face, and tugs Kaeya's legs over his lap so he isn't sitting scrunched up on the couch next to him. That's no way to sleep, and it wouldn't be comfortable for Diluc in the long run if he nods off like that.]
Like that. Are you fine there?
[Comfortable? Not fretting he's going to run off? His tone is a little sharp, but there's caring under it.]
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Date: 2023-03-12 02:10 am (UTC)[Kaeya couldn't help the warmth that spread over his cheeks. He kept his head down, however, to hide the blush. He wasn't completely in Diluc's lap, but he may as well be with the way he was cradled.]
...y-yes, I'm fine.
[What was Diluc thinking? Kaeya didn't understand what the other man's motivations. Helping him out was one thing, but this? He wanted to ask, but he found the words lodged in his throat.]
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Date: 2023-03-12 02:17 am (UTC)As far as he's concerned, if it helps Kaeya to feel better faster, then it's fine.]
Good. So am I.
[Embarrassing.]
Just relax and try to get some rest. If you're not feeling more like yourself soon I'll have to ask around how else you can be helped.
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Date: 2023-03-12 02:26 am (UTC)[It's been like four years! And those four years were full of tension and grief!
Either way, Kaeya was a little more awake now if only because his heart was racing. He stared at his feet, willing himself to relax. Honestly, it felt too big to be in Diluc's lap and not because of his age. He was a good few inches taller than Diluc, after all.
He couldn't help it. He laughed softly. Their father used to say he was just all legs and now he certainly felt it.]
no subject
Date: 2023-03-12 02:30 am (UTC)... What's so funny?
[He knows what's funny. There's a thread of clear amusement in his own voice as well, though it doesn't quite break into a laugh.]
A few minutes ago you were acting like you were dying.
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